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Òåìà: Melodic Aberration
Âðåìÿ: 15.01.2007 15:29 |
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"melodic aberration" between us a distanse that slowly ascendings. lets kill our senses and bring life to beginnings just like birth of a new feelings that will never concrete in a new form of breed. do you want to know the meaning? its just like the hopeless killing. and you want my hands to keep you because i try to find the only cure. all your words for me is a melodic aberration. all my thoughts that we is a split parts of reflection. all my lies for them is a loss of concentration. and now i want to find clarity, that will desolate the pain. and now i want to overcome despair, as it does the fleeting rain. but the only thing that i can hear through wind, is a melodic aberration of your mind. 
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| Àâòîð |
Òåìà: Re: Melodic Aberration
Âðåìÿ: 15.01.2007 17:07 |
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SHINJITSU, ÿ âàì â äðóãîì òîïèêå óæå ïèñàë... ×òîá íå ïîâòîðÿòüñÿ ñêàæó, ÷òî â ýòîì òâîðåíèè â ãëàçà áðîñàþòñÿ îðôîãðàôè÷åñêèå îøèáêè: â 5-ì ñëîâå, íå ñ÷èòàÿ àðòèêëÿ è that WE IS a split parts âïîëíå âåðîÿòíî, ÷òî åù¸ ÷òî-íèáóäü íàéä¸òñÿ - îñòàâëÿþ ýòî äëÿ âàñ |
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| Àâòîð |
Òåìà: Re: Melodic Aberration
Âðåìÿ: 15.01.2007 17:12 |
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ñîáà÷üè íîñû, êîøà÷üè õâîñòû è ÷åðåïàøèé ïàíöèðü  
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Òåêñò îòëè÷íûé, me_and_my_baby ïðàâ, åñòü øåðîõîâàòîñòè, íî íà ñìûñëå ýòî íå ñêàçûâàåòñÿ. Ìåíÿ ðàäóþò àíãëèéñêèå òåêñòû íàøèõ àâòîðîâ, ïîòîìó ÷òî îíè ðåàëüíî ðèôìóþòñÿ â îòëè÷èå îò, íàïðèìåð, òåõ æå àìåðèêàíñêèõ êîëëåã, êîòîðûå áåçàëàáåðíî îòíîñÿòñÿ ê ñâîèì òåêñòàì. ß èìåþ â âèäó íå âñåõ, íî ìíîãèõ. | |
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ñàáîðäåí Ordo Creatus è ìàãèñòð Ordo Planetarum Ëîêàëüíîé Ãðóïïû, âêëþ÷àÿ Áîëüøîå è Ìàëîå Ìàãåëëàíîâû Îáëàêà è Òóìàííîñòü Àíäðîìåäû.
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Òåìà: Re: Melodic Aberration
Âðåìÿ: 15.01.2007 17:26 |
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ñïàñèáî çà îöåíêó, áóäó ðàáîòàòü | |
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Òåìà: Re: Melodic Aberration
Âðåìÿ: 15.01.2007 19:09 |
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íó òû ïàäàæäè, äà | |
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