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Òåìà: You are somewhere here...
Âðåìÿ: 21.03.2005 00:49 |
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Ñåãîäíÿ ñäåëàëè ïåðåâîä íà òåêñò ïåñíè "Òû ãäå-òî ðÿäîì.."(ðóññêèé âàðèàíò ñì.http://www.stihi.ru/author.html?master74) Õî÷åòñÿ óñëûøàòü Âàøå ìíåíèå. Ñïàñèáî. I`ve made so many to escape Disguisting capture on my way I`ve broken all the paper toys That made me angry by the walls I`ve rushed by red instead of green Such mixer never ever been... I`ve mixed this walls with any streaks That was illusion on my dreams Refrain: The forest is behind the sea Behind the stony bank you`ll see The road from grass, it leads to sill Which stranger`s never found it still There is a house behind the door The light surrounds it even more So, there she lives, his lovely dream And she is almost wife for him 2é êóïëåò In doubts expressed by semi-coloumn I`ve searched a golden dust in garden And like an irony of doom I`ve looked for you in empty room You`re somewhere here I see, I know Your eyes are sparkling, is it so? Just one more step and I will find Your lovely features on my mind |
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Òåìà: Re: You are somewhere here...
Âðåìÿ: 21.03.2005 13:40 |
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Íó, òóò åñòü ê ÷åìó ïîïðèäèðàòüñÿ:( - Ðàçìåð õðîìàåò ÷åðåç ñòðî÷êó - èëè äëÿ àíãëîÿçû÷íîé âåðñèè çàäóìàíà "áîëåå äðóãàÿ" ìåëîäèÿ? - áóìàæíûå èãðóøêè óìåñòíåå ðâàòü êàê "tear" èëè "rip" èëè "rend" - ôðàçû "That made me angry by the walls", "Such mixer never ever been", "Which stranger`s never found it still" ïîñòðîåíû íå ïî-àíãëèéñêè, ïîíÿòü ñìûñë ïîëó÷èëîñü òîëüêî ïîñëå ïðî÷òåíèÿ îðèãèíàëà:(, - è âîîáùå ïî ãðàììàòèêå íàäî "òùàòåëüíÅé" ïðîéòèñü, íàïðèìåð, äæ/á "these walls" èëè "this wall", à íå "this walls", "wife to him" èëè "wife of him" - áåç îáèä, íî ôðàçà "Your eyes are sparkling, is it so?" âîîáùå ñìåøíàÿ ïîëó÷èëàñü - ýòî ê êîìó âîïðîñ-òî? Õîòÿ è ðóññêèé âàðèàíò ("Íî ñâåò ñëèâàåò êîíòóð ãëàç") -?!, ìÿãêî ãîâîðÿ, ìàëîïîíÿòåí è ïîòîìó òðóäíîïåðåâîäèì. Èìõî, åñòü íàä ÷åì ïîðàáîòàòü, óäà÷è! |
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Òåìà: Re: You are somewhere here...
Âðåìÿ: 22.03.2005 00:57 |
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tiddy, Ñïàñèáî çà îáúåêòèâíûå çàìå÷àíèÿ. Óâàæàþ îáîñíîâàííûå òî÷êè çðåíèÿ. Ãðàììàòèêà,äà. Íàä íåé áóäåì ðàáîòàòü. Ñïàñèáî. |
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Òåìà: Re: You are somewhere here...
Âðåìÿ: 24.03.2005 11:21 |
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Åñëè ÷åñòíî, òî íà ìîé âçãëÿä òåêñò êàêîé-òî ïîëó÷èëñÿ íå àíãëèéñêèé. Çâó÷èò êàê êàëüêà. Íà çàïàäå ñåé÷àñ âîîáùå òàê íå ïèøóò. Êîíñòðóêöèè îïÿòü æå êàêèå-òî àðõàè÷íî-äóáîâàòûå. Åñëè òû õî÷åøü ïðåäñòàâèòü ýòî çà áóãðîì, òî âðÿä îíè ñõàâàþò. Èçâèíè, êîíå÷íî, çà êðèòèêó. Íî ýòî ìîå ëè÷íîå ìíåíèå. | |
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