Àâòîð |
Òåìà: Gilgamesh Syndrome
Âðåìÿ: 20.01.2010 12:10 |
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çà÷åì íàì ìîçã? âîò è ÿ ãîâîðþ |
Àâòîð îðèãèíàëà - proõîæèé. Îðèãèíàë çäåñü: Ìåíÿ î÷åíü âïå÷àòëèë ïîòðÿñàþùèé òåêñò Ïðîõîæåãî, è çàõîòåëîñü ïîïðîáîâàòü ïåðåâåñòè. Áåäà îäíà: àíãëèéñêèé ÿçûê ÿ çà ïîñëåäíèå ãîäû íåñêîëüêî ïîäçàáûë, äà è òåêñò îêàçàëñÿ ñëîæíîâàò äëÿ ïåðåâîäà. Íî òàêèå ìåëî÷è ìåíÿ íå îñòàíàâëèâàþò. À ïðåâîñõîäÿùèå ìåíÿ â çíàíèè àíãëèéñêîãî ÿçûêà èëè æå â ñòèõîñëîæåíèè ìîãóò îòðåäàêòèðîâàòü ïåðåâîä ïî àäðåñó Ishtar In me Is resting in debris The fuse is ready to ignite Akkad In dust And all the gardens lost The ruins calling to requite The jug Of soul Will spring against the squall Water of Tigris turning red The cracking teeth begetting sparks Ereshkigal will bear the blame Assail! Attack! And hope we will not lack For those slain and torn apart Attack! Assail! Forever shall prevail A man with dragon in his heart I am the gauge of things The sheen of steel ensigns Prostrate yourselves before your master Ša nagba imuru Darkness, I'm calling you To be my guide, to be my pastor Uruk rebuilt again Defeating the arcane The altars' teeth tearing the skies Along the lines of dread The gods are being led They're shivering The faces turning pale Aghast they're tottering to me mūtu! mūtu! mūtu! mūtu! Aghast they're tottering to me mūtu! mūtu! mūtu! mūtu! Aghast they're tottering to me Ïåðåâîä ñûðîé, åãî ïèëèòü è ïèëèòü, ïðèãëàøàþ ïðèñîåäèíèòüñÿ. |
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I loathe everything I see
What you feel doesn't matter to me All these words, and still there is nothing to hear |
Àâòîð |
Òåìà: Re: Gilgamesh Syndrome
Âðåìÿ: 21.01.2010 13:59 |
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cringecore revival |
ìíå êîíå÷íî äàëåêî äî ïðîäâèíóòîãî óðîâíÿ àíãëèéñêîãî, íî èìõî òåêñò âî-ïåðâûõ, íåùàäíî îïîøëåí âî-âòîðûõ, ãðàììàòèêà íå äëÿ êðàñíîãî ñëîâöà ïðèäóìàíà ïîñëåäîâàòåëüíîñòü ïîäëåæàùåå-ñêàçóåìîå íèêòî íå îòìåíÿë âðåìÿ ïåðåïóòàíî.. ..îùåì, âèäíî ÷òî ñòàðàëñÿ, íî êàê-òî íå î÷åíü, âèäèìî. |
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Àâòîð |
Òåìà: Re: Gilgamesh Syndrome
Âðåìÿ: 21.01.2010 14:40 |
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Îäèíöîâî/Âèñáàäåí |
ììììì, èíòåðåñíî, êàê ìîæíî îïîøëèòü òåêñòû ïðî. Ïî-ìîåìó ýòî íåðåàëüíî. | |
Ñàìîñòîÿòåëüíî ïðèéòè ê Áîãó - âñå ðàâíî, ÷òî ãëóõîíåìîìó ñòàòü âåëèêèì êîìïîçèòîðîì.
Êîãäà ãîâîðÿò î “ðóññêîé ïîýçèè”, î åå “çîëîòîì” èëè “ñåðåáðÿíîì âåêå” – ìíå ñòàíîâèòñÿ ñìåøíî. “Ðóññêîé ïîýçèè” íåò, êàê íåò “ðóññêîãî ðîêà”. |
Àâòîð |
Òåìà: Re: Gilgamesh Syndrome
Âðåìÿ: 21.01.2010 14:50 |
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äîáðàÿ.. äîáðàÿ Ãíåôô (ñ) |
Îëå... ÿ òÿ ùàç ñòóêíó ))) lakevostok , áåäíûé Ïðî... |
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"Òðèæäû ïðîêëÿòû òå ñëàáûå, ÷üÿ íåçàùèùåííîñòü äåëàåò èõ íèçêèìè è ïîäëûìè, èáî îíè âûçûâàþò îòâðàùåíèå." (ñ)Ýíòîíè Øàíäîð Ëà Âåé
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Àâòîð |
Òåìà: Re: Gilgamesh Syndrome
Âðåìÿ: 21.01.2010 15:16 |
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çà÷åì íàì ìîçã? âîò è ÿ ãîâîðþ |
iveriver , äà ìíå òîæå íûí÷å äàëåêî. È, âñ¸-òàêè, õîòåëîñü áû ïîêîíêðåòíåé. olirup , ñìîòðè è ó÷èñü! |
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I loathe everything I see
What you feel doesn't matter to me All these words, and still there is nothing to hear |
Àâòîð |
Òåìà: Re: Gilgamesh Syndrome
Âðåìÿ: 21.01.2010 15:39 |
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cringecore revival |
>Akkad >In dust >The jug >Of soul >Will spring >A man with dragon in his heart ... îñòàëüíîå ïóñòü ïðî ñàì ïîêàçûâàåò |
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Àâòîð |
Òåìà: Re: Gilgamesh Syndrome
Âðåìÿ: 21.01.2010 15:58 |
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çà÷åì íàì ìîçã? âîò è ÿ ãîâîðþ |
>Akkad >In dust Ôîðìû "be" ÷àñòî è áåçáîëåçíåííî îïóñêàþòñÿ. >The jug of soul will spring Òóò ÿ âîîáùå íå ïîíÿë, ÷òî èìåííî òû ñ÷èòàåøü íåïðàâèëüíûì. "Will" çäåñü - ìîäàëüíûé ãëàãîë, "spring" - ãëàãîë (ýòî íà ñëó÷àé ïåðåïóòûâàíèÿ ñ îìîíèìàìè-ñóùåñòâèòåëüíûìè). >A man with dragon in his heart Âîò òóò ÿ è ïðàâäà â ìó÷åíüÿõ ðàçäóìûâàë. Äâà àðòèêëÿ íå âëåçóò, îäèí íàäî âûáðîñèòü. Âûáðîñèë áû ïåðâûé - áûëî áû íåÿñíî, "a" èëè "the" òàì ïîäðàçóìåâàëñÿ, à ýòî êàðäèíàëüíî ìåíÿëî áû ñìûñë. Ïîñåìó ëèøèë äðàêîíà àðòèêëÿ - îáîéä¸òñÿ. |
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I loathe everything I see
What you feel doesn't matter to me All these words, and still there is nothing to hear |
Àâòîð |
Òåìà: Re: Gilgamesh Syndrome
Âðåìÿ: 21.01.2010 16:11 |
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cringecore revival |
..êàê õî÷åøü, ìåíÿ áîëüøå êóâøèí ñìóòèë íå îäîáðèò ýòî Ïðî)) ìíå ïî÷åìó-òî òàê êàæåòñÿ íàñ÷åò ôîðì be - íå ãîâîðè ïîòîì, ÷òî ÿ íå ïðåäóïðåæäàë |
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Àâòîð |
Òåìà: Re: Gilgamesh Syndrome
Âðåìÿ: 21.01.2010 16:28 |
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çà÷åì íàì ìîçã? âîò è ÿ ãîâîðþ |
>ìåíÿ áîëüøå êóâøèí ñìóòèë Íó, ñëîâî â ñëîâî-òî íå âûøëî áû. Ïðèõîäèòñÿ âåðòåòüñÿ. >íå îäîáðèò ýòî Ïðî)) Î÷åíü äàæå ìîæåò áûòü. Íó, ÿ êðèòèêè íå áîþñü. Ãëàâíîå - ÷òîáû îíà áûëà êîíêðåòíîé è îáúåêòèâíîé%) >íàñ÷åò ôîðì be - íå ãîâîðè ïîòîì, ÷òî ÿ íå ïðåäóïðåæäàë È íå áóäó. Îäíàêî, íà âñÿêèé ñëó÷àé ïðèãîòîâèëñÿ ïèñàòü Ñòèâó Õàððèñó, ÷òî îí äåëàåò òó æå îøèáêó. |
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I loathe everything I see
What you feel doesn't matter to me All these words, and still there is nothing to hear |
Àâòîð |
Òåìà: Re: Gilgamesh Syndrome
Âðåìÿ: 21.01.2010 16:31 |
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cringecore revival |
>ïðèãîòîâèëñÿ ïèñàòü Ñòèâó Õàððèñó îí ó íàñ òóò íà ÌÔ ñèäèò è ïðÿ÷åòñÿ? ùà ìû åãî âûâåäåì íà ÷èñòóþ âîäó *ïîòèðàÿ êîãòèñòûå ëàïû* |
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Àâòîð |
Òåìà: Re: Gilgamesh Syndrome
Âðåìÿ: 21.01.2010 16:33 |
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çà÷åì íàì ìîçã? âîò è ÿ ãîâîðþ |
>îí ó íàñ òóò íà ÌÔ ñèäèò è ïðÿ÷åòñÿ? Äà, âèäåë åãî òóò ãäå-òî, âîò òîëüêî íèê óæå çàáûë. |
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I loathe everything I see
What you feel doesn't matter to me All these words, and still there is nothing to hear |
Àâòîð |
Òåìà: Re: Gilgamesh Syndrome
Âðåìÿ: 21.01.2010 16:37 |
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Îäèíöîâî/Âèñáàäåí |
>..êàê õî÷åøü, ìåíÿ áîëüøå êóâøèí ñìóòèë >The jug >Of soul êàêîãî ÆÓß?!! |
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Ñàìîñòîÿòåëüíî ïðèéòè ê Áîãó - âñå ðàâíî, ÷òî ãëóõîíåìîìó ñòàòü âåëèêèì êîìïîçèòîðîì.
Êîãäà ãîâîðÿò î “ðóññêîé ïîýçèè”, î åå “çîëîòîì” èëè “ñåðåáðÿíîì âåêå” – ìíå ñòàíîâèòñÿ ñìåøíî. “Ðóññêîé ïîýçèè” íåò, êàê íåò “ðóññêîãî ðîêà”. |
Àâòîð |
Òåìà: Re: Gilgamesh Syndrome
Âðåìÿ: 21.01.2010 16:38 |
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Îäèíöîâî/Âèñáàäåí |
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Ñàìîñòîÿòåëüíî ïðèéòè ê Áîãó - âñå ðàâíî, ÷òî ãëóõîíåìîìó ñòàòü âåëèêèì êîìïîçèòîðîì.
Êîãäà ãîâîðÿò î “ðóññêîé ïîýçèè”, î åå “çîëîòîì” èëè “ñåðåáðÿíîì âåêå” – ìíå ñòàíîâèòñÿ ñìåøíî. “Ðóññêîé ïîýçèè” íåò, êàê íåò “ðóññêîãî ðîêà”. |
Àâòîð |
Òåìà: Re: Gilgamesh Syndrome
Âðåìÿ: 23.01.2010 20:05 |
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çà÷åì íàì ìîçã? âîò è ÿ ãîâîðþ |
Ñàì íå ïîðóãàåøü - íèêòî íå ïîðóãàåò. Áóäó íàçûâàòü ðåàëüíûå íåäîñòàòêè òåêñòà. Æåëàþùèõ èñïðàâèòü - ìèëîñòè ïðîñèì íà Èòàê, ïî ïîðÿäêó. Òàê óæ âûøëî, ÷òî ÷åòâ¸ðòàÿ ñòðîêà ó ìåíÿ ïîëó÷èëàñü íà ñëîã êîðî÷å, ÷åì ó Ïðîõîæåãî (Ðûäàåò íèòðîãëèöåðèíîì - The fuse is ready to ignite), ïëþñ îíà îòðåçàíà ïî çâó÷àíèþ îò ïðåäûäóùèõ è çâó÷èò íåñêîëüêî îòðûâèñòî. Ìíå êàæåòñÿ, ó Ïðîõîæåãî âûõîäèò áîëåå äýòîâîå è ìîùíîå çâó÷àíèå. Äàëåå, ìíå íå îñîáî ïî äóøå ðèôìà ignite - requite. Ïîòîì ìíå ïðèøëîñü öåëèêîì èçìåíèòü ñìûñë òð¸õ ñòðîê, èáî îáú¸ì äóøè òóäà íèêàê íå õîòåë ïîìåùàòüñÿ. Õîòÿ çàìåíó, íà ìîé âçãëÿä, íàø¸ë âïîëíå ãîäíóþ.  ñòðîêå "Ereshkigal will bear the blame" âíîâü ïðèøëîñü îòîéòè îò çâó÷àíèÿ îðèãèíàëà, íî ýòî íå ñèëüíî çàìåòíî. "Øðàì íà ëèêå ñèë" ïðèøëîñü çàìåíèòü íà "Gauge of things" (íå ïîìíþ, îòêóäà ÿ âçÿë ýòî îïðåäåëåíèå áîæåñòâåííîãî). À âîò äàëåå ñëåäóåò, ïîæàëóé, ãëàâíàÿ ëàæà ìîåãî ïåðåâîäà: ðèôìà master - pastor. Ïîëòîðû ñîòíè ïðîñìîòðîâ, è íè ñëîâà î ñåì ëåçóùåì â ãëàçà êîñÿêå. Óâû, ïðèøëîñü óïðîñòèòü ãîëîäíûå êëûêè äî çóáîâ, è ëèøèòüñÿ ïîäáðþøüÿ íåáà, õîòÿ â öåëîì ñìûñë óäàëîñü ñîõðàíèòü. Íó à äàëüøå, íà ìîé âçãëÿä, âñ¸ ïðîñòî âåëèêîëåïíî (íåñìîòðÿ íà òî, ÷òî "Aghast they're tottering to me" íà ñëîã êîðî÷å, ÷åì "È çàïëåòàþòñÿ èõ íîãè"). |
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I loathe everything I see
What you feel doesn't matter to me All these words, and still there is nothing to hear |
Àâòîð |
Òåìà: Re: Gilgamesh Syndrome
Âðåìÿ: 25.01.2010 16:09 |
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cringecore revival |
Ïðî, íó ñêàæè òû åìó óæå ÷òî-íèáóäü âåñêîå.. à òî åäà ñàìà ñåáÿ ñúåñò |
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Àâòîð |
Òåìà: Re: Gilgamesh Syndrome
Âðåìÿ: 25.01.2010 16:38 |
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charybdis अ ग ा ध |
Iveriver, à ÷î ÿ ìîãó ñêàçàòü? åñëè àôòàð ñ÷èòàåò, ÷òî ñîõðàíåíèå ðèôìîâêè öåíîé âûïàäåíèÿ ñìûñëîâûõ ïëàñòîâ âïîëíå äîïóñòèìî - ÿ áåññèëåí. | |
Çàòêíèñü è ãîðè!
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